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Friday, October 11, 2013

Redirect me please, my own behavior plan.

OK, this is hard.  All is not sunshine and fluffy unicorns laughs at French Fry Inc lately.  For lack of better words it's not a huge amount suck but a series of little things that suck all grouped together at once that is wearing me down. I'm the first one to say it's better to laugh than cry but I got to get some stuff off my chest because it's late in the day and I want to take my bra off for the night.

1)If you follow me on Facebook, you know Daddy Fry broke his ankle a few weeks ago.  While he finally graduated to the walking boot, he is still not 100% back in the game.  All the little things I take for granted that he does aren't getting done well or at all. I suspect I am giving him the same look of confusion that he sports when I have been deathly ill and to sick to cook, leaving them to fend for themselves. Aka "Go to Burger King".  The lawn isn't getting mowed, I forget what day is trash day and what is recycling. My husband is Captain Vacuum.  It's always been his thing.  Over the weekend we got the kiddo to do it.  It was good sensory OT for him so I consider that a win win.  Mainly though, he is my kiddo's preferred playmate of choice. I'm Mommy and I'm a member of Team No Fun.  I focus on schedules, baths and bedtimes. Plus the weekends are really when my kiddo can see his father.  He works a lot.  This has been a tough adjustment and we have weeks of recovery still to go.  My husband has been sick quite a bit this year and I have informed him that according to HR at French Fry Inc, he has no more sick days left to take for the remainder of the year.  Nor did he fill out any time off request forms. 

2) Kiddo has had another day of not so hot behavior at school.  Throwing stuff, yelling, general anxiety through the roof. A big thank you for the teacher for contacting me that day by phone to let me know as soon as she could.  I appreciate that.  It's still a great big mystery of why to me right now.  There is no in your face reason to what gives.  It has me very worried.  We just took OUT his behavior plan at the last IEP in June. He didn't need it.  Great behavior for well over a year and a half and now this.  The kiddo is only getting bigger, not smaller.  I don't want him to be miserable.  I don't want him to be sad.  I also don't want him to be violent.  Towards himself or others. This behavior scares the ever loving crap out of me.  I worry about his future. I saw how fast nine years went. In nine more, he will be eighteen. If he acts like this in a public setting, police would be called.  I want to figure out what is going on.  It makes me worried that the progress we have seen could be slipping away.

3)My older dog Ronan, who has been with the kiddo since he was a baby is not doing well.  He has had some health issues recently that make me wonder if we are starting the beginning to the end with him.  I am devastated to even think of how the kiddo could handle that.

4) I am currently having to make some medical choices of my own to make coming up that are a little daunting/confusing.  Don't worry.  I'm not at Death's door but they are not things fixed with a band aid or a pill.  Some minor surgery will have to happen but as Daddy Fry is still limping around, I got to put it on hold.  Which will make this possibly scheduled right in the middle of the holidays.  Although the possible scripts for pain meds would be like a fun gift from Santa, I'd prefer not to have to go through medical stuff in order to get them.  Recovery with a kiddo bouncing around is going to be challenging at best. This is the same kiddo that tried to take off my husband's cast on his own when he wouldn't go on a dog walk with him. (Mama does it wrong).  Making choices for the kiddo with doctor input seems almost easier than making my own choice in this for what I want to have happen to me. 

5) My family still expects to be fed dinner again tonight.  I still have no idea what that will be. Alright so maybe in the grand scheme of things, this isn't a huge problem but currently it's weighing on me.  All I know is I will be having a glass of wine for dinner with another glass of wine for dessert. 

So that's what's up here.  I know logically we will get through it as really, do I have any other choice?  Nope.  There is no sub to call in. It's all on me.  I guess you could just consider this a problem shared is a problem halved.  So which one of you would like to come over and help?  Or just vacuum?  Anyone?  Don't all jump up at once.  Yeah yeah yeah, i know. Call the school.  Set up a meeting.  Take care of yourself.  That's important.  You all know I know this.   Just right now though, the thought of it all just makes me so damn tired.  :-/

Oh well, let me go cook another side of fries.   That's always a constant to depend on. 

3 comments:

  1. If I were anywhere near you and you didn't mind an NT one year old and an ASD 3 year old, I would totally come vacuum for you! Hold tight, Mama Fry. Could he be reacting to all the odd things going on right now-Daddy out of commission, puppy being ill, etc.? Perhaps when Dad is better and you can figure out what's going on with the puppy, he will even out again. Many hugs from sunny Florida and the Jenkins family!

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  2. Also, pizza for dinner is always a win ;-) (That is what we are having because this Mommy just isn't cooking tonight!

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  3. hang in there mama... life sucks right now and you deserve a pity party! Whine away! We all need to "get it out." Maybe kiddo is picking up on the stress at home and that's why he's acting out at school. Kids are VERY perceptive, and we know HE knows things are different at home now, what with his playmate and fellow dog walker on the disabled list and his mama in pain with something, and stressed out about it all. Not that his behavior is your fault, but if the situation is stressful for you and hubby, then he must feel it too. Not sure what the answer is, but perhaps you could brainstorm with hubby or kiddo's teacher to see if there are some stress reducing things you could do for him at school & home, and then you do them with him.
    Hugs to you.

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